friendship...

I had lunch yesterday with a couple of friends who I hadn't seen in over a month. We talked nonstop, mostly catching up with who's doing what and why. It was a good time and it made me think about friendship a littler deeper than I usually do. 


I have two friends who know everything about me--past, present and future. I can't think of a single thing that they don't know. Then I have a few friends who know almost everything about me--probably 95%. They definitely know what's going on in my present life and my future goals but there's a couple things from my past that I've kept private. I don't want--or need--to tell them because I already have two friends I share that part of my life with. After that I have a group of friends who probably know 70-75% of who I am. I consider anyone who falls below that threshold a coworker or acquaintance so they probably know different bits and pieces.


Many people don't have anyone who's close enough to know everything about them. It seems like it's difficult or almost impossible to truly expose ourselves completely to another human being. Some people might do it with a spouse but I'm not talking about someone you're intimately involved with. I'm talking about someone who is simply a friend that knows all your ups and downs, your heartbreaks and your happiness. And more importantly, someone who you feel comfortable enough with to show your flaws, even the ones you keep hidden deep down inside. It's not easy to trust someone enough to share with them what that nagging little voice in your head says to you. 


I'm lucky. I have really good friends. I believe to have good friends, you've got to be a good friend and that trips up most people. There's an awful lot of people in this world who think they are good friends, but they're really not. I really believe in this one area of your life more than any other, you get what you give. If you aren't surrounded by good friends, then you need to face a mirror and ask if you've been a good friend. It doesn't matter if you have one person in your life or a hundred. If you're wearing a mask with every single one of them, then you need to re-evaluate your life. You don't have to be an open book with all of them, but you need somebody who'll listen to every nasty little detail without judging you. They might tell you that you're an idiot or even threaten to kick your butt but sometimes that's exactly what you need to hear. And you need to hear it from someone you trust completely but not someone you're in love with. You need a friend who will always be there for you and let's face, love doesn't always last...no matter how much you want it to.


If you don't have a true friend to share your life with, then do the work to improve yourself and watch what happens. Everyone deserves at least one relationship in their life where they can be completely transparent. That's a holy grail everyone should be questing after.