and so life begins again....

I quit my job, fully intent on rolling up my sleeves and  building the life I was born to live.  But I didn't.  I didn't realize that 20+ years of working in corporate America had left a waxy buildup on my psyche.  It didn't occur to me that 20+ years of pretending to be someone I'm not would leave a mark, requiring time to shake it off.  I had no idea.  So instead I spent the summer turning over new leaves, discovering the real me while thinking about nothing and everything at the same time.  I got acquainted with my sons for the first time really.  I tweaked my relationship with my nieces, enhancing it a bit. I changed. I grew.  I blossomed.  I gave birth to parts of myself I didn't know existed and let other parts die a gentle death.  I became me.


After a long and eventful summer, it's now time to begin a next chapter as the new me.  Stories and ideas have been swirling around in my head but I haven't taken the time to develop them beyond the outline stage.  Yet I am eager to begin my new life...hungry to explore who I will really become.  It's time to write.  It's time to put pen to paper, time to develop random ideas into cohesive stories. It's time to get lost in my thoughts so I can find my dreams. It's time to begin anew....to renew and reshape myself.


And so I must say good-bye to my friends for awhile.  I need to hibernate with my imagination for the next few months without distractions.  I most certainly will get lost in my story but when I emerge from my cocoon, I'll be a beautiful butterfly.  I know this sounds a bit extreme to some, but like a method actor, I become engulfed by my characters and their lives.  I'm always surprised by where they lead me.  Ideas form rapidly in my mind but are lost just as quickly if I'm distracted.  Thoughts move through my mind like smoke rings drifting through the air, offering their capture for only a few hasty seconds before dissipating forever. Some of the greatest writers in history would disappear completely to an exotic location or a summer house on the shore when they were writing the next great novel but I don't have that luxury, at least not yet.  Instead I have all day when my kids are in school.  It's not glamourous but it'll do for now.


My sleeves are rolled up and my pencils sharpened ...metaphorically speaking...so the next chapter begins ....