What is it about human nature that drives us to postpone our lives until we have someone else to join us or until the situation is absolutely perfect? Are we that scared of living? We came into this world alone and we'll go out alone so why can't we live it the same way?
If you've ever watched National Geographic or one of the nature channels, you've probably seen the scene where several hundred penguins are standing on the edge of a rocky cliff, shifting their weight from one foot to the other in trepidation. There is usually a dramatic show tune playing in the background filled with tension and suspense to match the visual effects of the foam-capped waves crashing against the rocks below. The birds in the back are slowly pushing forward, filled with anticipation from the safety of their position in the back of the pack. The ones in the front don't seem quite as eager but eventually one of them just takes the plunge. And like a champion Olympic diver, the penguin hits the water without a splash, nearly sucking the bubbles in behind him. And that's all it takes. Without a backwards glance, the other birds scamper over each one, eager for their turn to jump. All it took was one bird with the guts to take the plunge.
Why do we hold back on life's adventures...waiting for someone else to take the plunge first? I realize my independent streak is wider than most. Maybe when God was handing out independent natures, I went back for seconds. Maybe that's why the waiting game puzzles me so much. It seems like so much time is wasted waiting for someone else to clear the way or for conditions to be perfect.
We all know women who desperately want to have a baby but refuse to consider any option other than giving birth. They spend thousands of dollars on in-vitro and watch as it fails over and over again, still refusing to consider any other alternative. Now everyone knows I'm a big fan of adoption but if someone else doesn't want to bring a child into their life that way, that's their choice. If they want to jump through hoops to get a biological child, it's their business. BUT, when in-vitro fails and the doctor says pregnancy is no longer an option, then live with your choices. Embrace your life without children and learn to love your life as a single person or a childless couple. Instead they often spend the rest of their life whining and complaining because they couldn't have a child and that's all they really wanted. Really? Half a dozen options are available to anyone wanting a baby, but you were only will to accept one alternative and somehow you've been robbed of your greatest joy? I call bullshit.
People need to learn how to live. Really live. And they need to take the reins and drive their own lives. I'm so tired of hearing miserably married people say divorce is against their religion. Religion isn't a person, it's a belief system and if you truly believe divorce is wrong, then do whatever it takes to save your marriage. Go to counseling and support groups or join a swingers club....whatever it takes. And if your marriage can't be saved, then either get a divorce or learn to live happily in an unhappy marriage. Or maybe you want to marry Mr. Right, buy a house, have 2.3 kids and live happily ever after but you've set your expectations so high that the perfect mate doesn't even exist. Then make a choice and change. Either lower your expectations to find a nice average guy who happens to be Mr. Right or go ahead and buy a house, get some kids and live your life. Maybe Mr. Right will come along when he sees how strong you are. Maybe he won't.
Why are some people so afraid to live anything less than the fairytale built up in their own minds? Why sit on the sidelines just because the picture isn't perfect? You want a baby? Do whatever it takes to get one. Want to change careers? Do what you've got to do. In a miserable marriage? Bail. Learn to live with your choices or make new ones...but learn to live. It doesn't matter how you get there so why care about the details?
You know that old saying, "life's about the journey, not the destination?" Again I call bullshit. I don't care how I get there, just get me across the finish line.
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