4. Analyze and evaluate all fingers. Sounds weird, doesn't it? Maybe I should restate that... analyze and evaluate all finger-pointing. Would that make more sense? Okay, then. No explanation needed so I'll move on.......okay, okay, I'm kidding, at least about the moving on part.
I'm not sure where I heard this, but it makes such sense I'm almost embarrassed to admit I'd never thought of it before. Hold your hand out and point your index finger away from you like you're pointing at someone and saying, "he did it!" Go ahead and try it. Now look at your hand. I'm sure you know what I'm about it say, but I'll say it anyway. Have you ever noticed that when you're pointing a finger at someone, you are pointing one finger toward him/her while your three others are doubled-back and pointing at you? hummm
How many of you have ever been told that you butt heads with someone--usually a parent or child--because you're just like him/her? I think we've all heard that once or twice in our lifetime and the finger-pointing technique is simply a visual representation of that saying. They both mean that what we see in others is also present in ourselves. The good, the bad and the ugly although both are usually referencing the bad &/or ugly more often than the good. I've heard it often in reference to the stubbornness I share with my father, the attitude found in both myself and my 8-year old niece or even the cheeky lip service of my son. But recently it's dawned on me that this saying extends beyond a shared gene pool. Let me explain....
I have analyzed the saying and applied it to several different situations in my life. My experiment unearthed an interesting fact. Whenever I noticed or commented on a trait I found undesirable in someone else, that exact same trait could be found in myself if I was willing to do a little digging in my psyche...often lying just under the surface. Obviously it can't be applied to every situation. There are times when we notice and comment on someone else such as calling them a jerk or a nosy gossip or even something much worse. It certainly doesn't mean we share every undesirable trait we notice in others. It seems to only apply when noticing these traits emits a visceral response in our heart. When our gut twists or we suddenly feel anger or disgust, that's when something is striking too close to home. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? You notice your best friend's husband is very controlling or maybe your sister thinks the whole world revolves around her. Maybe someone says or does something that hurts your feelings or maybe their sarcasm cuts a little deep. When you find yourself feeling irritated with your sister or rolling your eyes when your friend starts venting about her husband, turn the situation around and ask yourself how are you controlling or when do you think the world revolves around you. I guarantee you'll be able to find these same traits in yourself. Don't make it too complicated. I'm saying if someone bugs you, you're basically looking into a mirror and refusing to recognize your own reflection.
I know some of you are shaking your head in denial right now, but trust me, if you give this experiment a try and agree to be really honest with yourself, you'll find what I'm talking about.
I guess the whole point of this exercise is if you are willing to recognize the flaws and faults in yourself that appear so easily in others, then you can do a little soul-searching, determine where or why you acquired this negative attribute and cleanse it from your bag of tricks. I honestly believe it works. Even if your ex-boyfriend cheated on you with another woman (or many other women) and you've never cheated on anyone, I promise if you really dig, you'll find situations in the past where you cheated on someone. Maybe not sexually but you'll find relationships that you weren't really committed to even though you said you were. I guarantee you'll find variations of the same traits in yourself that make you crazy in others. Give it a try and see where it leads you.
Good grief this one was hard to write...not because it was emotionally hard, but because it was hard to explain. Hopefully it made sense and you'll get my point.
Okay, so that brings us to my final resolution....which I'm not about to start tonight...more later
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